She looked at him

She looked at the man sleeping beside her. 7 years yet he sometimes felt like a stranger. Sometimes she felt she failed to understand the father of her child.

She looked at him and wandered if she actually loved her. She can not feel him him anymore. Their daughter was the only the thing they both cared about and thought about in the long run. When she wanted to talk, there was always some more priority topic taking over, her in-laws, his work, her work and their daughter. When he showed some interest in her, she was too tired of wanting to be wanted.

They had a few troubles which were not solved, but they just skipped them. Not long enough did they realize that it did not work. She looked at this man and shed a few tears. She looked at her daughter and she felt strong. She was tired of picking the pieces everyday and put together a perfect picture of her family. She wanted to be loved again, to be held again as she forgot how it feels to be loved again. All she could feel were the cracks in her heart and her hope torn apart. A few flickering memories of love and hope were fading into dust. She wanted to leave but she looked at the most beautiful daughter in her life as she opened her eyes to call her “mamma”.

She tried to talk to him a few times and tried everything to rekindle her marriage. She looked at him but couldn’t read him. He was stone-faced. She was looking for hope in the darkness and looking for a light. She was looking for the vow he made when he married her. She could’t understand and she couldn’t let go.

She looked at the man sleeping beside her. 7 years yet he sometimes felt like a stranger.